Home Disney World Great Laugh Floor Comedy Club Jokes

Great Laugh Floor Comedy Club Jokes

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One of my DS13’s favorite attractions is the Monster’s Inc Laugh Floor Comedy Club, or the Laugh Floor as we call it.  He always bring a new joke already preprared to text to the number that they provide on the screen during the pre-show.  He’s successful about 70% of the time in getting his joke told by the character on screen.  It gives him a real gut laugh to hear his joke.

Perhaps your child loves humor as well, but doesn’t have a good joke handy?  How can he or she have their name mentioned on screen?  After reviewing the list below, do YOU have a good (clean, child-friendly) joke that you’d like to add?  Just post it in the comments below!


The Joke The Answer
1 A man walks   into a bar … Ouch!
2 A   Storm trooper is making dinner. His son says “What are we having for   dinner, Dad?” His dad says “Wookie steak.” “But is it any   good?” Dad   says “Yeah, but it’s a little chewy.”!
3 A   tennis ball goes into a bar. The bartender says, “we don’t serve your   kind in here.” … The   tennis ball says, Fine! I’ll see you in court!
4 And   why didn’t Nala trust Simba? Because   he was the Lie-ing King!
5 Did   you hear about the fight in the candy store? Two   suckers got licked!
6 Do   you pronounce the capitol of Florida ME-ami or MY- ami? Neither,   it’s Tallahassee !
7 How   do 101 Dalmatians cook? With   spots & pans!
8 How   do snowmen get around? By   icicle!
9 How   do you fix a broken pizza? Tomato   paste!
10 How   do you get a tissue to dance? Put   a little boogie in it!
11 How   do you wake up lady gaga? P   p p Poke her face! (poker face)
12 How   does Ariel get out of the ocean? Wet!
13 How   does Justin Bieber cry? Like   a baby baby baby oooooh baby!
14 How   much do pirates pay to have their ears pierced? A   buck-an-ear!
15 How   often do I love chemistry jokes? Periodically!
16 Knock   knock who’s there? Dwayne. Dwayne   (drain) the tub I’m drowning!
17 Knock   knock! Who’s there? Ya.   Ya Who? Don’t get too excited, it’s only a knock knock joke!
18 Knock   knock, who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock, who’s there? Banana.   Banana who? Knock knock, who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange   you glad I didn’t say banana?!
19 Knock   knock. Who’s there? Brittany spears. Brittany spears who? Knock knock who’s   there? Brittany spears. Brittany spears WHO? Oops   I did it again!
20 Knock   knock. Who’s there? Owls. Owls who? Why   yes they do!
21 Knock   knock. Who’s there? The interrupting cow. The   interrupting cow w… MOOOOOO!
22 Knock   knock. Who’s there? Who. Who who? Owls who. Knock knock. Who’s there? Moo.   Moo who? No   owls who, cows moo!
23 Knock,   knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re   welcome!
24 The   one armed fisherman caught a fish this big… Then   hold up one hand to show size!
25 Two   radio antenna got married… The   wedding was okay but the reception was great!
26 What   civil war general wore the largest hat? The   one with the biggest head, of course!
27 What   day do potatoes hate? Friday!  (Fry day )
28 What   did Delaware? A   New Jersey!
29 What   did Mickey say when the sky was falling? Donald,   Duck!
30 What   did one potato chip say to the other one? Let’s   go for a dip!
31 What   did one volcano say to the other? I   Lava you!
32 What   did Snow White say after she dropped off her film to be developed? Someday   my PRINTS will come!
33 What   did Tennessee ? The   same as Arkansas !
34 What   did the Alien say to the can of Coke? Take   me to your liter!
35 What   did the Mama buffalo say to the baby buffalo as he went off to school? Bison!
36 What   did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator? Close   the door, I’m dressing!
37 What   did the water say to the boat? Nothing,   it just waved!
38 What   did the zero say to the eight? Nice   belt!
39 What   do monsters wear to keep their feet dry? GHOUL-oshes!
40 What   do you call a broken boomerang? A   stick!
41 What   do you call a cow with no legs? Ground   beef!
42 What   do you call a cow with two legs? Lean   beef!
43 What   do you call a deer with no eyes? I   have no ideer!
44 What   do you call a dog with no legs? It   doesn’t matter, he isn’t going to come anyway!
45 What   do you call a fairy who doesn’t bathe for a year? Stinkerbell!
46 What   do you call a fish with five eyes? A   fiiiiish!
47 What   do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh!
48 What   do you call a lying noodle? An   im-pasta! (Imposter)
49 What   do you call a pirate who skips school? Captain   Hook-y!
50 What   do you call a prehistoric monster who is sleeping? Dinosnore!
51 What   do you call a princess who does the limbo? Limberella!
52 What   do you call a robot that always takes the longest route? R   2 Detour!
53 What   do you call a train that sneezes? A   choo choo train!
54 What   do you call an invisible robot? R2-C-Thru!
55 What   do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho   cheese!
56 What   do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate   Clauses!
57 What   do you do with a blue monster? Cheer   him up!
58 What   do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks? Dinomite!
59 What   do you get when you cross a pole & a tree? Poultry!   (pole tree)
60 What   do you get when you cross pooh and a skunk? Winnie   the P.U.!
61 What   do you get when your radio gets wet? Tuner-fish!
62 What   does a shark eat with peanut butter? Jellyfish!
63 What   does a Trekkie hang on his door at Christmas? The   Wreath of Khan!
64 What   does Winnie the Pooh and Bozo the Clown have in common? The   same middle name!
65 What   is a Leprechaun’s favorite furniture? Patty’O   furniture!
66 What   is a miners favorite pet? A   goldfish!
67 What   is brown and sticky? A   stick!
68 What   is Darth Vader’s favorite Disney song? When   You Wish Upon a Death Star!
69 What   is Grumpy’s favorite fruit? Sour   grapes!
70 What   is the difference between broccoli and boogers? Kids   won’t eat their broccoli!
71 What   is yellow and goes slam slam slam slam? A   four door banana!
72 What   kind of bees make apple juice? Applebee’s!
73 What   kind of snake do you find on your car? A   windshield viper!
74 What   kind of tree can you hold in your hand? A   palm tree!
75 What   kind of witch do you take to the beach? A   Sandwich!
76 What   lies at the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A   nervous wreck!
77 What   princess never forgets? Cinderellaphant!
78 What   time is it when Sulley sits on your fence? Time   to get a new fence!
79 What   vehicles do Disney characters drive? Minnie-vans!
80 What   was Tigger doing in the bathroom? He   was looking for pooh!
81 What’s   a Zen hot dog? One   with everything!
82 What’s   green and sings? Elvis   Parsley!
83 What’s   the difference between Gopher and Winnie-the-Pooh? Gopher   can get out of a hole!
84 What’s   the internal temperature of a taun-taun? Luke-warm!  (For all you star wars fans out there   enjoy)
85 Where   do lawyers eat? At   the food court!
86 Where   do mermaids go to the movies? At   the dive-in!
87 Where   does Ariel go when she had lost something? The   Lost and Flounder Department!
88 Where   does the hamburger go to dance? The   meatball!
89 Where   does the knight keep his armies? In   his sleeve-ies!
90 Where   was Noah when the lights went out? In   d’ark!
91 Who   was purple and conquered countries? Alexander   the Grape!
92 Who’s   buried in Alexander the Grape’s tomb? Alexander   the Raisin!
93 Why   are cooks mean? Because   they beat the eggs and whip the cream!
94 Why   can’t an elephant use a computer? Because   he’s afraid of mice!
95 Why   can’t Cinderella play soccer? Because   she always runs from the ball!
96 Why   did Cinderella quit the soccer team? She   was always late to the ball!
97 Why   did Donald’s foot smell? He   just stepped on Pooh!
98 Why   did Goofy wear two pairs of pants when he went golfing? Because   he thought he might get a hole in one!
99 Why   did Mickey cross the playground? To   get to the other slide!
100 Why   did Mickey Mouse cross the road? He   wanted a mini (Minnie) vacation!
101 Why   did Mickey Mouse go into outer space? He   wanted to find Pluto!
102 Why   did Pluto tell a joke? He   was being Goofy!
103 Why   did the animals in the jungle stop playing poker? Too   many cheat-ahs!
104 Why   did the bee get married? Finally   found his hunny!
105 Why   did the bicycle take a nap? Because   it was two-tired!
106 Why   did the cactus cross the road? He   was stuck to the chicken’s heinie!
107 Why   did the chicken cross the road twice? He   was a double crosser!
108 Why   did the chicken cross the road? To   get away from Roz! She’s up on the screen, isn’t she?!
109 Why   did the chicken cross the road? To   get to your house!
110 Why   did the cookie go to the doctor? Because   it was feeling crumby!
111 Why   did the football player go to the bank? To   get his quarter back!
112 Why   did the man sleep under the car? Because   he wanted to get up oily in the morning!
113 Why   did the monster cross the road? To   prove that he wasn’t a chicken!
114 Why   did the mushroom go to the party? Because   he was a fungi!   (fun guy)
115 Why   did the pirate take his mother to the movie theater with him? Because   the movie was rated “arrrrrrrrrr”!
116 Why   did the punk-rocker cross the road? Because   he was stapled to the chicken!
117 Why   did the ram run off the cliff? Because   he didn’t see the ewe turn!
118 Why   did the suspenders get arrested? Because   they held up a pair of pants!
119 Why   did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To   get to the bottom!
120 Why   did the tomato blush? Because   it saw Mr. Green pea over the fence!
121 Why   didn’t the banana marry the grapefruit? Cantelope!
122 Why   didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He   didn’t have any guts!
123 Why   didn’t Winnie the Pooh finish his dinner? Because   he was stuffed!
124 Why   do bananas wear sunscreen? Because   they peel!
125 Why   do ghosts make good cheerleaders? Because   they have a lot of spirit!
126 Why   do humming birds hum? Because   they don’t know the words!
127 Why   do sea gulls live by the sea? Because   if they lived by the bay they’d be bay gulls! (bagels)
128 Why   do some people regularly re-read The Lord of the Rings? It   becomes a hobbit!
129 Why   does it smell funny in here? Oh   someone told a joke!
130 Why   does Peter pan fly everywhere he goes? He   can never never land!
131 Why   does Santa have a garden? Because   he likes to Hoe, Hoe, Hoe!
132 Why   is 6 afraid of 7? Because   7 8 9!
133 Why   is Cinderella bad at sports? She   has a pumpkin for a coach!
134 Why   shouldn’t you tell a joke while skating? The   ice might crack up!
135 Why   was it so windy at the hockey game? Because   of all the fans!
136 Why   was the rock mad at his friends? They   took him for granite!
137 Will   February March? No,   but April May before June!


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  1. Didn’t notice this in the list. This is one I submitted:
    Where do cows go on a first date?….
    To the mooo-vies.

    Read the thread. This was a great idea. Good on ya! Have a good one.

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